My reason for resolving

Happy new year, all!  I hope you had a wonderful holiday and are starting out the year feeling refreshed and excited!

I have to tell you, New Year's is probably my least favorite of the big holidays, and I NEVER make resolutions, however I actually have made one this year.  They say that by telling someone else your goals you're more likely to see them through, so I figured that by sending them out into the ether that is the internet I should be banking a sure thing. :)

My resolution is fairly traditional in the fact that it's in relation to my appearance.  While I would be lying if I said I didn't want to lose a few pounds, the goal is actually not traditional in that respect.  My resolution is to be more accepting of what I look like and to be more confident and loving toward myself.

Like many women, I have spent much of my life wishing I was taller, thinner, prettier.  I've wanted skinnier hips, narrower shoulders, longer legs, straighter teeth, a whiter smile... all the usual suspects.  Everything that every commercial, every model, every American TV show and film tells me I need to be beautiful.  To be sexy.  To be wanted.  To be worthwhile. 

Ironically, these same commercials, models, TV shows and films also have a public maxim of confidence and inclusion that they outwardly tout: "All women are beautiful," and "Love the skin you're in."  (Just make sure you love it AFTER you buy their beauty products, wear their clothing line, and feel awestruck and inadequate by the outward beauty of their paperdoll actresses.)  For me, the result of the mixed messages has, so far, been to make me aware of all of my "flaws" and ensure I feel guilty over my enlightenment.  So...yeah.

* * *

This year, however, my life changed.  Drastically.  This year I came face to face with something of true importance: a little nine pound baby girl with blue eyes, brown hair and the squishiest, most impish smile you can imagine.  She truly is beautiful.  But to be honest, even if she wasn't, I can't imagine loving my daughter any less. 

Even now, at eight months, she watches me constantly.  Granted, right now it's because she's studying my facial expressions, my words, my emotions - learning all of the basics of motor skills and communication.  But I would be foolish to think that she doesn't (or won't) pick up on all of the other pieces that make up my personality.  And she will learn from them.

What I don't want is for her to look at me and have my reaction to these beauty messages validate the messages themselves.  I don't want her to see someone who says "you're beautiful the way you are" but grimaces every time she sees her own reflection.  I don't want her to associate food with guilt, age with decreased beauty, body shape with desirability, or appearance with importance or success.  Those messages are everywhere, so she will wind up facing them at some point.  But they don't need to come from my example.

What's funny is that I don't feel that way about anyone else.  The women in my life are all different sizes, shapes and colors and I can say truthfully that I think they are all beautiful.  Are some of them overweight?  Yep.  Do they all have perfectly straight, white teeth?  Nope.  Would all of them turn heads when walking in a room?  Probably not.  But when one of them struggles with self confidence and self worth, it truly breaks my heart.  It breaks my heart that we all have such a limited definition of beauty that we can't see beyond our "flaws" to the loveliness that those around see.  That we can't love ourselves as we love our neighbors.  

Boy, this is long-winded. 

Short story long, my goal this year is to alter that in my own life, as best I can.  I want to make a conscious effort to change "I'm fat" to "I'm so thankful that I have enough to eat, and happy occasions to indulge with friends and family."  I'd like for "I wish I had longer legs" to become "I like my cute little legs that allow me to chase, dance and support my happy little munchkin."  I want "I hate my smile" to become "I am thrilled to have so many things in my life to smile about." Mostly, I want to grant myself grace and exemplify Audrey Hepburn's philosophy that "...happy girls are the prettiest girls."

So that's my resolution.  I frankly don't think it will be too easy - confidence has never been my strong point - and I can't promise I'll always follow through with it.  Jean shopping will still suck.  Bathing suit season may require some pep talks and, possibly, liquid courage.  I'm quite sure there will still be days where absolutely every piece of clothing I own will be on the floor of my room and I'll be melting down 'cause nothing fits and I hate the way I look in everything, and the most logical course of action will be to console myself with a bowl of whipped cream for which I will feel immensely guilty afterward.  (Not that that's ever happened before.) 

But I'm going to work on it.  I'm going to find something about myself every day that I like.  I'm going to try to be a good example to my lamb and a good friend to myself.  And if you want to join me, I'd love the company!  As Ben Franklin said, "Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors and let every new year find you a better man."

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.”- Audrey Hepburn

I realize that admitting this is akin to high treason, but I've never been a big fan of french toast.  (Can we still be friends?)  Something about soaking thin slices of Wonder bread in a weird eggy mixture just didn't do it for me.  Any time someone would make it for me, I would wind up pushing it around my plate willing it to be a little less, you know, French. 

I have recently come to recognize the error of my ways, however (or perhaps, more accurately, the error in my bread).  My Culinarily Inclined Significant Other whipped up an absolutely delicious french toast using challah bread and his own favorite recipe and I'm not exaggerating when I say that it's one of the Best. Breakfasts. Ever. 

Challah bread, a braided Jewish bread, is a denser, sweeter bread with a soft shiny crust (you can find it most grocery store bakeries).  The texture creates the perfect medium for soaking up the egg, vanilla, honey and orange mixture and you're left with a french toast that's moist, thick and infused with flavor.  It's so wonderfully rich, in fact, that half the time I don't even bother to top it (though it's pretty amazing either way). 

It has become one of our favorite special occasion foods, and this week we'll add some crispy bacon, fruit salad, coffee (and with any luck, mimosas), and ring in the New Year right.  (I'll start my resolutions after breakfast...)  :)



Ingredients 

New Years, for me, has always been a strange holiday.  Coming hot on the heels of Christmas, most of us are already exhausted and winding down from the holiday season.  We've just come through one of the most joyful holidays, and yet our attitude toward the year is somehow sour.  Wrapping our purse strings a little tighter and our belts a little looser, we look to the year to come as an opportunity to "Get it right."  We muster up a last little blast of energy to party, drink and count down the very last moments in the current year, in anticipation of our next great one.  

"This time," we say with resolve "This time, I'll do it the way it should be done."  This year I'll lose those 15 pounds.  This year I'll spend less money. This year I'll get a better job.  This year I'll volunteer more.  This year I'll find a good man. 

And it's not that those aren't good goals or excellent motivations.  But somehow it seems that in the wake of the moment, we wind up summarizing the previous year in terms of all of the things we did wrong.  What we're really saying is "I'm too fat," "I'm wasteful and a poor steward of my finances," and so on.   

This mentality is one that feels so dour to me, that I find myself looking at January 2nd as the light at the end of the tunnel.  And for someone who believes in celebrating life and all of its moments, this attitude just doesn't sit well.  

So this year, I feel that it's time to make a different kind of change.  Instead of looking toward midnight with an attitude of "This time I'll do it right," I will seek a quieter entrance into the New Year - one that is both reflective and grateful.  This December 31st I will look back at the year and say, "No, it wasn't perfect.  But this is what I loved about it.  This is what I learned."  

"I'm grateful that I had enough to eat, even if it was a little too much at times.  I'm grateful that I had the job that allowed me the capability to go out or to stay in; to treat myself, my family and my friends from time to time.  I'm grateful for the opportunities I had to touch other people's lives - whether through a phone call, a lunchtime chat, or a kind word. (Charity and Kindness are not, in fact, relegated to soup kitchens and clothing drives). Perhaps this year I'll seek those opportunities out in more places. I'm grateful for the friends that I have and for the extra time that I had to spend with them."

Tonight, at 11:59 (and counting), I will raise my glass earnestly in tribute to two great years - murmuring thanks for the one that is passing and a warm salutation to the one that the ticking clock brings.  Tonight, I will resolve to be content.  For what better thing can one wish for themselves and those around them than peace?

Happy New Years, friends.  I wish you all the peace, joy and beauty in the world.  

This is the one time of year when over-the-top glitz is spot on.  A white tablecloth and swirled overlay create an stylish base to start.  

Raid your Christmas supplies for gold, silver, azure and amethyst ornaments.  Pile on a tiered server along with stars, garlands, and pocket watches for a luxe centerpiece.  Mix metals and textures with abandon: think of it as an overflowing jewelry box.  


Layer metallic chargers, gold rimmed plates, and printed clock faces.  Personalize each setting with whimsical DIY party hats.  After all, it is a celebration!

With a few tea lights, a square mirror will add an elegant glimmer when the light from the last of the year begins to wane. 

Final touches include jewel-toned napkins, gilded flatware and sparkling baubles at each place setting.  

Now let's raise a glass to a beautiful new year that's filled with the richness of friends and family! Cheers!

The holidays are all about magic.  And what could be more magical than glitter?  Upon entering a
building with no more than one tiny glimmered and glittered branch hidden in a safe in the back, you will still (magically) come out sparkling as though you've been assaulted by heavily dandruffed pixies.  It is a little known fact that glitter was actually one of the ten (and, some might argue, most insidious) plagues set down upon Pharaoh in ancient Egypt.  So why not bring it into your home?  Why not indeed!

Glitter does add a gorgeous shimmer to your holiday decor.  By using the sparkly-stuff in conjunction with candlelight, you automatically up the drama and elegance of your tablescape or mantle.   Below, find the easy steps for making these beautiful sparklers. 



Supplies: 
 
Pillar or Stick Candles
.9 oz of Glitter (I chose a bluish silver glitter with white candles to imitate the sparkle of snow)
Varying Widths of Tape (Electrical tape is easy to apply and remove and has a great stretch to it)

Spray Adhesive 
Parchment Paper 
Newspaper or other table covering 
Vaccuum standing by  (trust me)


1. Working in a well ventilated area, lay down newspaper to cover your work surface.  Pull off a piece of parchment paper and set aside. 

Taped candle pre-glue

2.  Use tape to mark areas that you don't want covered in glitter.  (Think beyond a straight line. Try
wrapping strips vertically down the candle to create candy cane-like swirls or cut out circles and apply for a fun dotted look)

3. Spray one side of the candle with adhesive.  Very little is needed.

4.  Place pre-cut parchment paper under the candle.  Working quickly, sprinkle glitter over glue and use your fingers to smooth surface.  Once areas are covered, roll parchment into a conical shape and replace extra glitter in magic pixie vile.

5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 until all areas of your candle are evenly covered.

6. Remove tape, place in a beautiful candle holder and admire your work.  Now curse like a sailor and begin furiously vacuuming up the glitter that has already stealthily worked its way into three of your rooms and will continue to show up a  year from now.  Holiday magic.